Shoes in the snow

The other day I was walking home in the heavy falling snow along the road with the stores and in the window of Book City was a display of Lonely Planet guides. It stopped me in my tracks. I saw South America on a shoestring and was tempted to buy it even though I have no real time in mind that would be right to go to South America on a Shoestring.

I want to go somewhere on a shoestring right this minute.

Ups and downs

I'm slowly feeling less like I want to stab someone in the eyes as I lie in my downy duvet and de-fume after a trip to the laundromat. I detest the laundromat. Particularly when there are loud talkers and too few machines and BAHHH.

I slept badly. Then I arrived at school and felt a real sense of loss. Over what, you might ask? Over reading week freedom, I'm sorry to report. Being back to school blows.

I worked out hard at the gym which made me feel good, particularly because of the huge bag of Smartfood D'Arcy and I devoured yesterday as well as all the other shit I've been inhaling lately. Lots of it. I need to balance the input with output. I think I need to increase my meal sizes so I feel less like snacking all day long. We'll see how that works.

Today walking home from school in the thick snow which has been coming down all day, though, I felt wonderful. You know that quiet feeling in the air of a wintery dusk? Every now and then I feel the need to remove the headphones and listen to the sounds of my walk home, which are usually quiet, peaceful, and much appreciated. Though I often find myself ruining the quiet with my own rendition of cheesy '80s love songs. What can I do?

I went to a talk today by the director general of Human Resources etc. etc. Canada. They are doing a recruitment program, hiring researchers and policy analysts to work in Hull, Quebec. It's a job. But the thought of a job in Hull, Quebec researching about, say, electricity and its policy and hoping that the minister might attempt to make some change based on my research makes me shudder with dread. Maybe I'll apply. The salary is good. It will ruin my spirit. I can't do it.

So now I have laundry to fold and homework to do and sleep to catch up on.

Blogging as procrastination

Last night I went to see a play called "The Overcoat" which had no words. If I could describe it with actions for you I would.

So I have a goal to write a 3-5 page discussion paper by 1pm. It's now 11am and I just made a brief outline. Time for a break. My original goal was to have this sucker finished on Wednesday but you win some and you lose some.

Left in the semester:

1) Lead a class discussion (next week)
2) Do a three minute presentation and write an accompanying four page paper on something to do with culture and education and language. (this week)
3) Do a final group assignment that won't be so bad. (April 6th)
4) write a 10 - 15 page paper on something to do with culture, education, and langauge. (late April)
5) write a 25 to 30 page proposal on something to do with urban sociology. (Early May)

All this in two months - could be much worse! Whoo! Except that last one will be no fun at all. Not one ounce of fun. Zero fun. Yup.

I need a job!

In December I submitted an application to the federal government of Canada's general recruitment job search program thing in an attempt to get a job at Statistics Canada. They have this post-secondary recruitment program where they pay you well and teach you well and give you a career. That's what I need!

So I submitted my application and waited. Waited, waited, waited. The goverment requires waiting, so I'm told.

A few weeks ago my friend at my RA job tells me she's been shortlisted for the job. I have heard nothing. What??? It makes no sense. Why? I'll tell you why.

She is taking a year off between her undergraduate degree and her MA. She's a very strong student and research assistant. I, on the other hand, will have my MA and two PhD level stats courses behind me. Clearly I have lots of stats cred to make me an ideal candidate!

So it made no sense that I didn't get shortlisted too, and I felt disappointed and perlexed.

Luckily, I have a friend who works at said goverment organization. She's looking into it for me. Apparently they are just as perplexed as to why my application didn't get picked up by their computer program that detects appropriate candidates.

Keep your fingers crossed that connections will prevail for me.

If I did get this job I'd have to move to Ottawa. Hmmm.. Ottawa.

Last night I saw a rockin' concert by a band called Apples in Stereo. Check them out. They are hip and cool.

I'm on holiday!

Hello Folks,

You can blame facebook for stealing away my blogging time.

So I'm on holiday! It's reading week and despite my full intentions of spending my days reading I've been sitting here on my black Ikea chair, feet up on my black Ikea foot stool, amending my facebook profile and developing a crick in my neck - clearly not the kind of reading I'd intended. Lame, lame, lame. Oh, I've also been listening to a gardening show on CBC radio 1. I think it's now a book review show. Better since I have zero interest in gardening.

I have to go to the gym to make up for the excessive amounts of cheese fondue and chocolate cake I ate yesterday. I've lost control!

I was reading an old journal from a few years ago - before the blogging days when I used pen and notebook. I was about 22 and was struggling with questions of identity and things. Two things I wrote struck me. First, I said that I felt like my adult self was a stranger. I didn't feel like the person I was then would remain. This is no longer at all true. I feel like I am myself and will forever be this self, and I think I've indeed changed since I wrote those words. Second, I said that I was jealous of a friend of mine who said, "I love my life." I didn't love mine. Now I do. I feel like this time ranks as tops in the life of me. Loving life feels pretty damn good.

Hopefully that continues into next year when I leave school and start work of some kind or another.

What job should I get, I wonder....

On love - a belated Valentine's Day post

"In ancient times people weren't just male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female, or female/female. In other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much thought. But then God took a knife and cut everybody in half, right down the middle. So after that the world was divided into just male and female, the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their second half."

- from Haruki Murakami's Kafka on the Shore, referencing Aristophames in Plato's Symposium

24

It's my birthday! Hey, it's also the one time ever that my age is double the date. February 12. Twenty four. You see? Amazing.

I had a birthday party on Saturday night - my friends came over for chips, pizza, and cake before we all headed out dancing. It was a great time. I love my friends. Even if they make me look 8 feet tall. I'm not!

Usually I'm not so big on receiving gifts. It's not that I don't like them, but more that I'm pretty particular about what I like and don't like and usually I don't like what others give me, so I have to pretend to be excited about a bottle of body wash. I know, I know, it's the thought that counts, but when there's clearly very little thought, I'd rather not be bothered.

So Romeo comes in with this big gift bag. How sweet. It turns out it's from everybody who came to my party from school (and some who couldn't make it.)

After the pizza and before the cake it was decided that I'd open the gift. There were three things inside. The first was a heavy thing that felt like computer paper. I opened it up to find two music books: one of guitar songs and one of the Little Shop of Horrors score. Nice! Who would have guessed they'd be so thoughtful and get me something I'd actually like? Not that they aren't thoughtful. It's tough to be thoughtful, that's all.

Next was a recorder. That's cute. I like the recorder.

The last part of the gift was the real kicker. Only a few days ago I'd told Romeo how I always wanted one and whenever I pass by a pawn shop I think about buying one but never do. When I opened up the package and found a clarinet I was overwhelmed.

So overwhelmed that I cried.

Not only because it's pretty sweet to get something you've always wanted, but because it is so incredible to have people organize together to do something really special for you. I feel really lucky to have all the friends that I do, and to have met such great new people this year.

And I love my new clarinet!

These days

Things are going so well I've had no time to blog. Actually, our router is broken so my internet time is preciously spent doing more vital things. Like facebooking.

Why are things going so well, you ask?

Well, I like my courses, for one. Or, more accurately, I like one course a lot. It's my research methods class that I'm doing the study on plastic surgery. I love the atmosphere and the readings and the professor. I love how it feels like a collective group of learners instead of a group of people trying to impress each other with their previous knowledge. It's great.

My other two classes are okay.

Overall I feel like I have much more control of my time and my life this semester. I'm not in the computer lab every single day working on stats which adds a little something.

Last week I got a rockin' haircut and then twisted my ankle. Today a bus driver saw me running to catch the bus but slowly pulled away, looking me right in the eye.

I have tests to grade galore and I will get to them ASAP.

It's damn cold out and in.

Last night I went out with my old friend and didn't realize how much alcohol those martini's packed. Ouch.

Tomorrow I have a second date with a cute boy.

Saturday night I'm having a birthday party. For my birthday is on Monday. Don't forget! I have no plans. Actually, I plan to receive birthday wish calls all night long. ;)

So that's the scoop. When we replace our router I'll be sure to get back in the swing of things.

Lazy Me

I can't seem to want to post anything this week. Why? Don't know.

Dan's visit was very, very lovely. He thought Toronto was swell. It is, really. We ate some great food and he did lots of walking around.

I got a fantabulous haircut yesterday at the Aveda haircutting school which cost me only 14 dollars. Thank goodness - I couldn't handle that blunt cut any longer. I'll show a picture sometime soon.

Today I slept the whole day. What? School? What? Grading and reading and reading some more? Pshh.

My birthday is on the 12th and I'm having a birthday party on Saturday night. Should be a good time.