I should be suspended from class. I don't know my elbow from my ass.

I can't seem to get that song out of my head.

And I can't seem to get imposter's syndrome out of my conscience.

I was excited last week and this week I'm bummed. Bummed bummed bummed. Not because I got 84% in both Immigration and Theory (one percent away from an A in both), exactly. More because of feelings of humilation for submitting a bad paper to my supervisor with embarassingly negative comments all over it. And because my paper on suicide bombers that I worked hard on is still worth only an A-, the lowest 'good' grade one receives in grad school. Most of all because I'm more and more aware all the time that academia is not for me and that I don't know what is for me.

My inappropriate advisor told me she thinks I look depressed and flat. I was feeling fine then. Today I'm feeling depressed and flat. What an inspiration! What guidance!

Don't let it get to you, self.