How it all began: Installment 4

Now we get to my parent's reaction to the idea. I held off telling them. Then I told them. They didn't like it. So I sent them the following email:

Hi Parents,
I know you're not thrilled about this South Korea, but maybe looking at this webpage will warm you up to the idea. Look at the testimonial section particularly, and read what people have to say about their experiences. There's lots of information, and this company seems very reputable.
http://www.footprintsrecruiting.com/index.php
Jess

My father promptly responded and basically said that I should look more into it. I wrote back with the following:

Thanks Dad, I appreciate you taking this seriously. I know what you and Mum are probably thinking, besides the safety concern; that this is a waste of time and is not related to my future career, etc. Well I know how typical it is for us to think that way in our society, that everything has to be part of the goal. We are so incredibly driven to work towards the future. But what about right now? I don't want to get dragged along from school to school to work. To retirement. I want to experience the world and to grow as a person; to have a good understanding of myself so that I can make informed decisions about how I want to spend my life. I am young now and will only be this way for a short time. I don't want to miss out on anything, and I don't think that one year is a very long time. I am incredibly excited about the prospect of not only living and working in an exceptionally foreign country, but travelling to the surrounding countries that I likely will not have another opportunity to visit. China, Japan, Thailand... So, try to put behind you the Western ideas that one must 'go, go, go', and that any time spent elsewhere is a waste. I think that if anything I will be ahead of the game by doing this. But I promise to do all the research I can to make sure that I end up at a place that is safe, honest, and everything else. Just wanted to let you know how I feel. Love, Jess

My father responded:

Jess:

I understand everything that you have said. I do understand how you feel. I hope you understand how I feel. You want to travel and explore, by all means take a month, travel, take two and travel. but keep your education going till you reach your final goal. You always have the time to travel and explore later. Do a bit each year. If you become an academic, you will have plenty of time available to travel the world.

You make it sound that I only believe in work, work work with no fun. You could not be further from the truth. For your information I have travelled to more places around the world than anyone else you know. I understand and appreciate your desires. I believe that you can easily accomplish both. I do know from my own experience that everyone reaches a wall whereby further schooling becomes intolerable. I don't want you to hit this wall before you have accomplished everything you want to. The travel and excitement can come after grad school.

Do you think you will be too old at this time? Is this the problem?

You need to really think this through very carefully. I do not support this adventure for you at this time. It may fine for Darcy but I very much believe its not the right thing for you to do at this time. I have some other thoughts to share with you when we are together in person.

Love always, Dad

And my mother's reaction:

Dear Jess,

I can see that Dad is very worried about your idea of going to S. Korea. He is very disappointed in your choice of locations and your extending your studies. He feels you have such good potential academically and that your potential will be diminished if you waste a year doing something which you really have shown no interest in doing and actually have expressed not enjoying teaching or children. Without teachers training and working with a new culture, you might actually find it very frustrating and difficult and he thinks that you will be disappointed in the living standards and find a year a very long period plus it could be very difficult and tiring work. I think he would rather see you spend your May to Aug travelling as a student would and then return to school. I think he would even prefer to help you out financially than see you put your studies behind schedule and perhaps find yourself stuck in an unhappy/dangerous situation.

I have spoken to two people about this type of work. One was a student who was working here and she was working in a school where the principal was sexually harassing the children. She reported it but they did nothing about it. She tried to get a new ticket to return and to quit the job and even had difficulty arranging this. Another person I know who I talked to recently said his friend's son went to Japan recently and is returning after three weeks as he is very unhappy there with the job and the conditions of the job. I do not know any further details.

Moving on to graduate school in a bigger city could be so exciting for you. You don't have to know exactly what you want to do initially. Your decision could evolve over time or you could go to a career counselling service to help you with your decision about where to go from here. In general, we both feel very concerned about your plans, we feel that you have such potential and although school may be a little boring now, graduate school will bring with it so many new people and experiences, location etc. If you want an adventure elsewhere apply to graduate school oversees or out west. If you are getting A's you will most likely get a scholarship. At least you will continue your journey in expanding your horizons and mingling with intellectual people who will inspire you.

You are ahead of schedule and should be proud of it. I wish I had all the good stuff going for me when I was your age. Don't take it for granted and lose your momentum. I hope you understand what we are feeling. We are so proudof you, we love you a bunch and we really worry about your safety. As you see travelling in dangerous areas can be very risky. You were very luckythat you did not face some of the tragedies which happen in Israel on a regular basis. I hope you understand.

Love Mom

I know this is a brutally long post but if you made it this far, I hope you found it interesting. It is a perfect example of this attitude that so many of us hold. What's 'wasting a year' supposed to mean? It's living a year! What do they mean, putting things on hold? This is making things happen. They want me to finish my education, meet a man, make babies... Egads. That will happen soon enough. For now I just want to live as me for a while. To go places and do things. Maybe I'm being overly naive and idealistic, but the way I see it, thinking in terms of wasting and using years is kind of insane. Unless you spend it sitting around in front of a television watching reality shows. It's an interesting topic, this. Discuss.