Let your honesty shine, shine shine.

It all started when... I recently saw a play called "Take Me Out" about baseball and homosexuality and various other things (most notably it featured plenty of full frontal male nudity; I've never seen a side-by-side comparison in all my days!). I mention it here because it began with a narrator trying to pinpoint the moment when a series of events began. There was no beginning because everything was precluded by something else.

I could say it started when I fell in love, or when my heart was broken, or when I spent time healing, or when months passed and I felt good, or when we reunited for a week of imagining things were different, or when I grew up in Israel. Instead I'll choose to begin the story when my parents and I went to Ogunquit, Maine about five days after my return from Israel and maybe three days before the beginning of school. The weather was too chilly for the beach and there's nothing much to do in Ogunquit so we ate a lot of lobster and fried clams. And we went to see a movie; the only one playing in an old, run-down movie house along the main drag. We hadn't heard anything about Garden State, but decided to go and see it for lack of anything better to do.

I can't say it blew me away. I did like it. My parents didn't really enjoy it too much, but I remember feeling disappointed when it ended, not because the ending was bad but because I wanted to continue to watch these characters live. I remember feeling particularly moved by the kiss (as it happens to be a particularly moving kissing scene as some of you well know).

I returned to school and went on as normal for about two months when I was looking up reviews for "I Heart Huckabees" which I was planning on seeing. I found a review that compared it to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Garden State. Suddenly I remembered Garden State. I don't know what it was, but it just hit me. I went to the movie website (which still exists and is good) and watched all the video clips, read all the things there are to read, and looked at countless "original moments". If you haven't seen it, I urge you to check it out. The background music mixed with everyone's special memories were extraordinarily emotional for me. I then went a little crazy and got the soundtrack, read, and continue to read, Zach Braff's blog (part of the reason I am writing here today) and ordered a poster.

I felt like I actually missed the characters. Now, I must say here that I rarely care about movies or anything like this. I don't care about Hollywood stars, I don't really watch TV much, I like movies but I usually don't think too much about them once I've left the theatre. When something leaves me thinking I know it's good. I went to see the movie two more times in theatres, and then bought the DVD when it came out in December.

Okay, enough of this timeline. What did I like so much about it? I'm a little bit apprehensive to take on the task of describing what it is that gets me. I'll try my best.

* Watching the characters is like watching people. Much like reading a blog, you feel like you're seeing real things happen and like you are involved in real life. They're not too unbelievable (although some might argue otherwise), the things they do and say seem real. Everything seems real. Real real real.

* I love this stage in a relationship that we get to watch between Sam and Large. That beginning period when everything is brand new. Sam catches Large up on her life by showing him herself; her room, her photographs, her personality. I love that about meeting a person you really connect with and having endless amounts of things to tell them.

* I love how they don't kiss right away. It seems like for so many people things progress incredibly fast; faster than they should. We kiss people we don't even care for. Even in most movies there's usually an accelerated feeling of time and 'events'. By holding off on that level of closeness it says something about them. I can't put it into words very well.

* I love the colours and the simplicity of the shots. Every scene is beautifully done.

* I love the typical scenes to love; the backyard, the pool, the fireplace, the quarry, the bathtub, the airport. I love the small characters; the knight, Mark's mom, Carl. I don't like the dumb girl who wants bread and the less hot girl in the basement scene, but what can you do.

* I love how Large tells Sam to "look at me" when she's crying. Isn't that the most unfair thing to ask? For someone to expose themselves that way. But when someone you love asks you to do that you also somehow get pleasure out of them seeing you with tears. Something about that..

I could go on.

And I will.

I left my DVD at Jordana's house and it's pathetic but true that I feel a little antzy about leaving it there. (Don't worry, Jordy, I can handle it). I like to have my favourite DVD's in their place. I only have about five of them and when they're all together it's comforting. There's a strange confession for ya.

Back to the question of when it all started... I wanted to include that because there are things that have happened to me in the last couple of years that have created me. Without feeling real love and then real pain I wouldn't be able to relate to things like this. They wouldn't have had the same effect on me. That's why up until lately I haven't had too many things to be passionate about. Having experienced intense emotions I can react in a more sensitive way to the world around me.

And that is what I did on my summer vacation.

Post-script: I just re-read this and I don't like how I've written it. I'm going to stick with it though.